Christian parents gay son
For a decade now, Christian parents hold been asking my wife and me for help in parenting their homosexual kids.
As a Christian dad of a gay son, I wish there had been someone to talk me through the issues raised by my son’s disclosure of his sexuality. But the evangelical church has until very recently said very little about homosexuality, except that it is a sin and that those who practice it are worthy of condemnation.
As a result, most homosexual young people in the church stayed silent about their sexuality until they could no longer ignore it. Upon coming out, the majority left the church, and often their faith as well. Most parents, if they knew their kid was gay, told no one about it and had no one to speak to. Some decided to stay in relationship with their children by ignoring the issue; others watched their relationships fall apart in the midst of a sea of misunderstanding, rejection, and anger.
In request to love these families and their gay kids skillfully, the church needs to do a better model to parents. What follows are a limited suggestions rooted in my own journey with my son Drew. (We’ve written extensively about this journey in our book, Space at the Table: Conversations Be
A video making its way through the internet depicts one of the worst coming out experiences one can have.
In it, we listen a mother start with “I love you,” and move posthaste to kicking her son out of her home, then to attacking and beating him.
The video is painful to watch (listen to, actually, since it’s taken on a phone that’s been hidden). They call his sexual orientation a choice, despite his assertions that it is not and her assertions that she knew he was gay from when he was a petite child. In the end, the family attacks their child, calling him a “disgrace” before beating him and yelling, “You’re a damn queer!”
Many of the headlines have depicted this as “Christian parents beating and disowning their gay son.” It’s not an inaccurate title. The parents appeal to their Christian faith and to the bible as the justification for their actions.
This video should make every Christian cringe.
This is not the faith that I was taught throughout my Christian education, from Sunday university to seminary. This does not sound like God calling all of creation “very good.” This is not the example of Jesus, who laid down his life
“You want to shove those words endorse in and set the lid on. But you can’t. Your child is gay. This goes against everything you’ve been taught. It was not what you had in mind, and you instantly wonder where you went wrong.”
When you become a parent, you perceive to expect the unexpected. But for many Christian parents, nothing can equip them to listen that their beloved child is homosexual. This is the child you own cradled, spoon fed mashed bananas, and dreamed a gorgeous future for. How could this be? What will the church say? What will your friends say? What does the future hold? You can’t even get your chief around this.
If you are a Christian parent, family member or friend to whom your loved one has arrive out as same-sex attracted or lesbian, then this is for you.
I invite you to sit down, relax, maybe fetch a cup of tea, and soak in what I’m about to explain you. My aspire is to mentor you as we walk for a bit through this maze of confusion, to help you find your way to wholeness. In many Christian circles, this is not good news, and you may commence to spiral into reflection and self-searching. We’ll get to that. But at the bottom of it all, this is not about you. Most parents’ first mistake is to mak
How should Christian parents respond if one of their children comes out as gay?
Answer
If a child reveals his or her homosexuality, the first thing for Christian parents to carry out is let their youngster know that, no matter what, love and grace will win the afternoon. Mom and dad’s affectionate will continue, regardless. First John 4:8 says, “The one who does not love does not comprehend God, for God is love.” There is nothing to be gained by callousness, denial, or denunciation. Rather, “God’s kindness is intended to lead [a person] to repentance” (Romans 2:4).
Our children (like ourselves) have heart issues. We’re not trying to insert good fruit on terrible trees; we are passionately praying for our wayward children that God would heal the roots of the tree—that He might remove their heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh (see Ezekiel 36:26).
Parents should also encourage a child who has “come out” not to explain himself as a “homosexual.” It’s important to demand questions: Are you in a relationship? Is the relationship sexual or platonic? Have you acted out your feelings of gay attraction, or are they just thoughts you have? Parents can come alongside a struggling child and help him